two trains of thought, each with its own track

It has been difficult for me (Dan) to interact with this blog for some time now. Last night I realized, at least partially, why. I have finished seminary classes, and while that should be an exciting fact I find myself not so because I am waiting for a call into ministry. I do not want to bore others with my worries or doubts or fears, so I am waiting to update until a time when I have "good news". Well, it has dawned on me that it is also good news to be able to express the not so good news as well. Instead of hiding in a bunker-like mentality, waiting for the potential bombs to be dropped on my head I can actually get out and move. I am trying this mentality. While not easy, I feel it will prove beneficial.

I (still Dan) have been reflecting a lot lately. As previously mentioned, or alluded to, I have some time. Specifically, my mind has settled on friendship. More specifically, I have been mourning the loss of past friendships. It seems that it is a rare thing to possess other human beings in your life that (a) intricately know who you are at a deep level, (b) encourage you to live into who you are, and (c) have spent enough time in your life that, if they decided to become utterly evil they could destroy every fiber of your being in 10 seconds or less. From the best I can tell, I have two of those friends in my life right now. There may be others who become those types of friends, only time will tell. We havent spent that much life together yet. It's simple logic really. But, I have also lost, at least (and probably only) one such friend. This is a frustrating thing. It makes me wish that I understood the importance of other people in your life at an earlier date in my life. Of course we can all say that. It is that same cliche of 20/20 hindsight and whatnot.