when the hypothetical becomes your friend

so i (dan) have been reading a bit of fun on the side as this semester comes to a close. i am now on book 3 of fun stuff reading, although i havent completely finished one of the three. i'm still counting it, i mean it has allowed my brain to divert from demanded reading. anyways, in one of these books the author posits a list of 23 questions he asks of people he meets in order to determine if he really loves them. i will share #19

your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: this friend is going to die unless you kick the (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. if you don't kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. however, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. so you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can't tell them why. since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

i think i would go with sudden earthworm infestation. everyone knows that there is only one way to kill a hoard of those filthy buggers.