two trains of thought, each with its own track

It has been difficult for me (Dan) to interact with this blog for some time now. Last night I realized, at least partially, why. I have finished seminary classes, and while that should be an exciting fact I find myself not so because I am waiting for a call into ministry. I do not want to bore others with my worries or doubts or fears, so I am waiting to update until a time when I have "good news". Well, it has dawned on me that it is also good news to be able to express the not so good news as well. Instead of hiding in a bunker-like mentality, waiting for the potential bombs to be dropped on my head I can actually get out and move. I am trying this mentality. While not easy, I feel it will prove beneficial.

I (still Dan) have been reflecting a lot lately. As previously mentioned, or alluded to, I have some time. Specifically, my mind has settled on friendship. More specifically, I have been mourning the loss of past friendships. It seems that it is a rare thing to possess other human beings in your life that (a) intricately know who you are at a deep level, (b) encourage you to live into who you are, and (c) have spent enough time in your life that, if they decided to become utterly evil they could destroy every fiber of your being in 10 seconds or less. From the best I can tell, I have two of those friends in my life right now. There may be others who become those types of friends, only time will tell. We havent spent that much life together yet. It's simple logic really. But, I have also lost, at least (and probably only) one such friend. This is a frustrating thing. It makes me wish that I understood the importance of other people in your life at an earlier date in my life. Of course we can all say that. It is that same cliche of 20/20 hindsight and whatnot.

Deer tick? Salt lick? Catholic!

Today was just like any other day as I strolled through the halls of St. Gertrude's Hospital. I was on my way to a patient’s room because she had requested chaplain visits. This is a common activity for me, nothing out of the ordinary yet. As I enter the room and start to speak to the women, all changes. I introduced myself, stating that I am chaplain and that I understood that she has requested visits, which she did. Her first words are, “Are you Catholic?” I respond by stating that I was raised Catholic and that I am a part of the staff here at the hospital that is available for patient needs. She then informs me that she is Catholic, in a tone that ushers forth the following phrase of “and if you ain’t a priest then you ain’t a visitin’ me sonny”. Looking back, I could have actually answered differently.

#1 I was tempted to say that yes I was Catholic. After all, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed in the Catholic faith. I feel that, while there are some areas I don’t fully comply with Catholicism I am far from hostile towards it.

#2 I could have said that I was catholic, meaning in my own understanding that which is universal or ecumenical. But this is not what the women meant by the term and that would have been dishonest and I shied away from that option.

It is fun to note my process in that brief moment. As I was speaking I was wondering if I should just go ahead and say yes to her inquisition. What did it matter if she thought one thing about me? I would be able to speak with her and perhaps even offer counsel. This would run the risk of me being trapped in some sort of theological quandary as I would most likely answer some questions without the foreknowledge of where the Roman Catholic Church stood.

In all I didn’t answer these other ways because I needed to be honest, with her and myself. While I still feel a connection with my Catholic roots, this one set of religious convictions do not fully represent me. I am glad that I was honest, but also hurt that I wasn’t deemed good enough because I wasn’t Catholic. On one level I get it. There is some type of divide between Catholics and Protestants, they are bitter rivals, animosity, blah, blah, blah. I think it can also be seen that I don’t really get it either.

In the end, I did what I could. Well, it is better said that I am happy with what I did. I feel sad that the women felt that I was unfit because I was not Catholic, but what can I do really? I guess if I ain’t a priest then I ain’t a visitin her.

"the time has come," the walrus said...

So after multiple false starts, the time has finally come to post something new. This summer seems like it is going extremely fast (it's already half way through july!) but very slowly at the same time. We are indeed in Minnesota and overall, it has been an interesting experience. I JUST found some kind of steady work after numerous disappointments and learning about myself and how I (anne) tend to sabotage myself sometimes. We're glad this opportunity came up because it allows me to stay here for the rest of the summer. The other thing we had been discussing was sending me back to Chicago to just look for full time work there. Which I still need for the fall so if anyone has any leads on anything, please let me know. Dan has been learning a lot through CPE, which is great. It has been tough with several calls during his "on-call" times, but overall a learning experience. It still leaves much uncertainty about our future but we're really hoping things come together more this coming semester.

Our time here hasn't been all worry and learning though...we have managed to get out and explore a little.

Okay...I'll try pictures again another day. I don't know why it's not working for me but I just can't get any of them to be posted. *sigh* Coming soon...I promise.