two trains of thought, each with its own track

It has been difficult for me (Dan) to interact with this blog for some time now. Last night I realized, at least partially, why. I have finished seminary classes, and while that should be an exciting fact I find myself not so because I am waiting for a call into ministry. I do not want to bore others with my worries or doubts or fears, so I am waiting to update until a time when I have "good news". Well, it has dawned on me that it is also good news to be able to express the not so good news as well. Instead of hiding in a bunker-like mentality, waiting for the potential bombs to be dropped on my head I can actually get out and move. I am trying this mentality. While not easy, I feel it will prove beneficial.

I (still Dan) have been reflecting a lot lately. As previously mentioned, or alluded to, I have some time. Specifically, my mind has settled on friendship. More specifically, I have been mourning the loss of past friendships. It seems that it is a rare thing to possess other human beings in your life that (a) intricately know who you are at a deep level, (b) encourage you to live into who you are, and (c) have spent enough time in your life that, if they decided to become utterly evil they could destroy every fiber of your being in 10 seconds or less. From the best I can tell, I have two of those friends in my life right now. There may be others who become those types of friends, only time will tell. We havent spent that much life together yet. It's simple logic really. But, I have also lost, at least (and probably only) one such friend. This is a frustrating thing. It makes me wish that I understood the importance of other people in your life at an earlier date in my life. Of course we can all say that. It is that same cliche of 20/20 hindsight and whatnot.

Contemplations

Midwinter was this week. Technically it is still going on but neither Dan nor I are there anymore...our experience is finished. Overall, it was positive. I cannot speak for everything that Dan learned and thought but I can at least share my own. One thing that really has come to my mind as a result of the time spent here is how I view marginalized groups. It seems like it is rather easy for us to pick out certain groups of people who are marginalized...the poor, the hungry, people living with HIV/AIDS, etc but I feel that there are some people who we miss almost every time. This is not to say that we as christians should not be doing what we can to help these other groups--we are indeed called to help those in need--but what about our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? What about those people within our congregations who need help? What are we doing to help each other? Do we know the needs of the families within our own churches? Do we know if a family is having financial difficulty and needs assistance? What do we know about each other's spiritual growth? Do we sharpen each other? Do we overlook the needs in our smaller communities in order to focus on the needs of the larger community? This is a hard balance to strike. We run the risk of becoming too focused on ourselves and neglecting those around us. But we also run the risk of neglecting the health and needs of our local churches and assuming that everything is okay for everyone. Outreach is great and necessary but how are we caring for each other?

I don't have this entirely thought through and figured out yet but I feel like it has been laid on my heart and I at least wanted to share it.